I am 33 years of age and in my whole lifetime have NEVER watched a game of football. I don't know what it is about it. Maybe a phobia that was built in at a young age. The noise of the football fans in the stadium chanting with all that testosterone. You would have thought that it would have been every gay man's dream. But I, like so many of my gay brethren, have a Phobia against football.
I am guessing, an this is not concluded based on any evidence, but in my opinion its the fact that growing up, at junior school and Comprehensive I was always the last picked for the team. Gay Boys just don't usually excel at sport. Drama, Arts, but Sport? Always the last one picked for the games of P.E. at school in what became a torturous 2 lessons a week. Rugby I love. Getting down and dirty and in close contact with a bunch of fit lads. But Football? I just don't get it? Passing a ball around a field and only being allowed to touch it with your foot. I just found it boring and non stimulating. Of course there was always the post P.E. Showers, but that's a different story all together. Therefore, it would seem that most gay boys not only don't like football, but actually hate it with a passion.
So I have made it this far into my life without even watching a single game. The closest I have come is at my parents dinner table when Dad would have it on in the background and I would hurry away sick of the noise of it. Yes, sure as you can spot a gay man at the gym because he trims downstairs in the necessary department you can also spot a gay boy by his dislike for the national Sport.
Today, strangely I felt myself glued. Working out at the gym, 2 of the 4 televisions screens were broadcasting the World Cup. I found myself working out twice as long as usual as first the Pre Game build up was broadcast and was drawn in with patriotic Pride for our Boys.
Of course there are always some plus sides. The boys are far from Ugly. The England Team & Swedish are rather Hot.
England bought the score to 2 - 1 near to end of time only to have Sweden score in the last few minutes. Covered in Goose Bumps I was drawn in. Maybe I am becoming straight. Quick send in the Gay Doctor. Apparently England have not won a game against Sweden since 1968. That's 6 years before Abba won the Eurovision Song contest and 20 year before the first Ikea store opened in the UK.
Will I watch another game? I never thought I would watch this one. Come on England, you can do it. Post winning the 2012 Olympics the whole country was excited and enthusiastic about Sport. The July 7th and a Terror campaigns on the Transport Network bought it all crashing down. If we win, and I'm routing for our boys, I can only imagine what the atmosphere will be like in this fair land. Come on boys. Its a long hot summer, airport's, the World Cup & the Return of Dusan! Fingers Crossed on all counts. Now go get em boys. Kick Ball, or whatever you shout?
PS = As the final score was 2 - 2, a draw, what happens now? No extra time? I dont even know the game rules!
Thanks for visiting - if you have any comments, please feel free to comment at neil@vauxhallcowboy.com
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