Landed and coming Home

It feels like his been gone far more than 10 days but when you are forced appart from the love of your life, your soul mate, everything seems to go slowly.

After all of the problems we have had with Immigration and delays at airports before I was sitting on the edge of my seat awaiting his call. I had checked online and seen that his flight had landed 30 minutes ago, an hour ago, an hour 10, an hour 15, an hour 20. Now I was really starting to worry. Just this second he called and had not only cleared immigration but had also made his way to the Station and was coming home for good.

I cant tell you how happy I will be to see him. There is an old saying that says "Absense makes the heart grow stronger" and how true it is. It doesnt matter how long or short a time I spend away from him. I miss him every single night we spend appart but spending a whole 10 days, after we are married, has been so so hard.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. I know there will be times when we are forced appart by work and the odd night here or there but nothing will ever keep us apart longer than that for the rest of our lives. No distance in time or space can lessen the love of two people sealed at the heart. I cant wait to hold him, hug him and just hear his voice ear to ear once more. I thank the Lord for my blessings and helping our love grow stronger and for making us appreciate each other more and more. Our being apart has made us realise how strong our love is and has caused us both to understand that if you realy love someone then there is no stone you will leave unturned, no mountain is too high you would not climb and no river too deep that could keep you apart.

The fight now ends and our lives begin and I look forward to spending every magical moment with that most beautifull man. His name means Soul. How beautifull a name for such a beautifull name.

For those of you that have supported us this whole incredible journey of over 3 years trying to be together. Thank you. We raise our glasses and say thank you all for all your love and support as without our friends we could never have survived the three years. Thank you and God Bless.

Love always

Neil & Dusan xxxx

Bohemian Curry

BOHEMIAN CURRYS

Sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody

Naan-aa, just killed a man

Poppadom against his head

Had lime pickle, now he’s dead.

Naan-naa, dinner just begun

But now I’m going to crap it all away.

Naan-aa, ooh-ooh

Didn’t mean to make you cry,

Seen nothin’ yet just see the loo tomorrow,

Curry on, Curry on,

‘cause nothing really madras.

Too late,

my dinner’s gone

Sends shivers up my spine

Rectum aching all the time.

Goodbye every bhaji,

I’ve got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and use loo.

Naa-na, ooh ooh,

This Dopiaza’s mild,

I Sometimes wish we’d never come here at all....(Guitar solo)

I see a little chicken tikka on the side,

Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh

pass the chutney made of mango.

Vindaloo does nicely

Very very spicey

MEBiryani (Biryani) Biryani (Biryani) Biryani and a naan,

(A vindaloo loo loooo..)

I’ve eaten balti,

somebody help me

He’s eaten balti,

get him to a lavatory

Stand you well back

Cause this loo is quarantined.

Here it comes,

There it goes,

technicolor yawn.

I chunder

NoIt’s coming up again(There he goes)

I chunder

It’s coming up again (There he goes)

It’s coming up again, (Up again) Coming up again (up again) Here it comes again(No no no no no non o no no No)

On my knees, I’m on my knees, I’m on my knees

Oh there he goes

This vindaloo

Is about to wreck my guts

Poor me....Poor me...Poor me !(Guiter solo)

So you think you can chunder and still it’s alright ?

So you want to eat curry and drink beer all night?

Ohh maybe, now you’ll puke like a baby,

Just had to come out,

Just had to come right out in here....(Guitar solo)

Korma, saag or bhuna,Balti, naan, bhaji.

Nothing makes a difference

Nothing makes a difference to me(Anyway, my wind blows.)

And then they lived Happily Ever After

It has been over 4.5 Years since we first met and over 2.5 years of trying to find a way to be together and today after years of applications and a wedding later we finally had the news we were waiting for today.

Dusan had his interview at the British Embassy in Croatia and finally called with the news that they have given him his leave to remain and we can start to live our lives together without the worry that one day the authorities can make him leave.

He will be home tomorrow after nearly 10 days away and we can start the begining of the rest of our lives together and what I am sure is going to be the best years of our life.

A thousand thank you's to you all for all your love and support during our long and stressfull application and we look forward to celebrating with you all very soon.

Much love for now

Neil & Dusan

Calling Long Distance

After a day a day of feeling blue and really depressed, you can imagine how excited I was When my phone went. It Was Dusan and believe me he says we are far better off here than they are there. The heatwave in Eastern Europe is continueing and instead of being around 28 degree's its 42. Too hot to do anything. He said the whole family are at his house as a room has air conditioninig and its the only way to stay cool.

We know that in the end, all of this wait is just formality and his just waiting for his appointment to see the Embassy but deep inside neither or us can keep away the thought that there is no 100% guarantee that they will give us the visa. Come Tuesday it is make or break. All we know is that we are not prepared to live apart any longer and if that means renting out the house and moving to Porec on the coast where he can work in a bar or restaurant, so be it. Far worst things to do. After all, he has been the one unable to work for the past six months and so it would just be my turn. That is, if the worse case scenario, they refuse my husbands visa. But with a fact file over 10 inches thick full of letters, photographs, events we have shared over the past 4.5 years, surely this is just formality and my husband will be back with me by midweek.

My close friends have all been on the phone. They all realise how lonely is is when your loved one is so far away . Yesterday was a sad and depressing day. The house so empty and cold. I litterally stayed in, watched television and drank wine.

Roll on Wednesday and bring my baby back! :-)

Home alone without him

[I miss him so much. Until now I have been away with work and pre occupied, but today I am home alone and miss him so much. The house seeems empty without him. I just want my husband home. Is that too much to ask?

I need him home so that we can rest and move on with out lives. So far all we have done is apply for permissions, visas, approval and all we want is to be able to live. Hopefully that day will be soon. Tuesday they will interview him and they will make the decision and with Gods will we will have the visa there and then. Its just the what if that scares me so much. But you have to be positive. Meanwhile the house is lonely and cold without him. Come home soon babycakes, I Love you and miss you and I Need you. All my love Neil xxx

Do you do Rescue Missions?

Patsie and I have always had several phrases in life.

1. Never Turn Right on an Airplane (Unless its a Lear Jet) They Never have First class in the rear.
2. Cocktail? Well its after Six somewhere in the world.
3. Oh its awful sweetie, Do you do rescue missions?

The first two we may laugh about but I have always laughed every time Alex has said "I do rescue missions you know".

Today, after feeling really depressed at missing Dusan, I had a message from Alex on the way back to the office. "What happened to you? Have you dropped off the planet?" I admitted I was just feeling down and missing Dusan. "Do you do rescue missions?" I asked.

An hour later I was sat at my desk when my mobile went. It was Patsie. "So Rescue missions cost you dinner". He said.

We met at 1800 and moved on to the bar for cocktails, then dinner with Verve Rose and the most fabulous three course meal. Expensive? Maybe. It depends on what you value. I value, love, honour, friendship and more than anything people that keep their word. Alex was there today when I felt at my lowest and drove over 120 miles just to visit me. Dinner was nothing. After all you choose your friends. What wonderful friends we really do have.

Finishing off dinner and heading back to my room to catch up with Dusan. I have no idea how much a 30 minute call to Eastern Europe from my phone costs, but at least I spoke to the man I love. As the rain storm sets in and the Thunder rumbles in the distance and temperatures plumet to mid teens, Dusan is back in Croatia in the 40's and melting. Its a mad world.

And now, ready for Bed. Thanks to Alex & lots of love. And all my love and kisses to Dusan.
Always Neil x

Nobody really understands but I can't live if living is without you!

Maybe its just me, but I don’t think anybody really understands quite how I feel right now. My husband would have been home today if all had gone to plan. Instead his away thousands of miles away and there is nothing either of us or any of our friends can do to change that. Fingers crossed, Tuesday we will get good news but until then, we both sit and wait. In Limbo, in love but sadly separated from one another just days after our Wedding.

I miss him so much. I can’t concentrate at work. I have no appetite and spent last night waking almost every hour on the hour. I was sleeping but reaching out for his warm soft body to hug close to. I find myself in tears mid day and feel pathetic that its all out of my control when I promised I would do all that I could to protect him and be there for him.

If for any reason we don’ t get the positive outcome we are hoping and deserve on Tuesday and I know my good friend Neil S would say Think POO. Positive Optimistic Outcome, I can see no alternative but to rent out the house and move over there. There is simply no way I would ever choose to live away from him again. Without him I am incomplete.

We have spent far too long living apart while we were waiting to wed, there is no mountain I would not climb and no river too deep that I would not walk the lengths of this planet to be with that man. I love him so much, miss him so much and right now this is so unfair. Newly weds are supposed to be together, inseparable. Not less than two weeks after the fabulous day forced apart my bureaucracy.

Roll on Wednesday, I miss you so much baby. I hope we can both stay strong.
Till then I have found myself frequently in tears and singing songs that mean so much. Today's song was Maria Carey.

I can't live, if Living is without you.

Somehow it just says it all....

No, I can’t forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way this story goes,
You always smile....But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I can’t forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it’s only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I cant live
If living is without you
I can’t live
I can’t give anymore
I can’t live
If living is without you
I can’t give,
I can’t give anymore

Well, I can’t forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way this story goes
You always smile
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
Can’t live
If living is without you
I can’t live
I can’t give anymore
Can’t live
If living is without you
I can’t live
I can’t give anymore

Ohhhhhh(No can’t live) No no no (No I can’t live)
I can’t live (No can’t live)
If living is without (No I can’t live)
I can’t live (No can’t live)
I can’t give anymore (No I can’t live)

Come home soon babycakes. I can't live without you. All my love
Neil xxx

Missing him - Missing Me

Its only been three days since I dropped him off at the airport. Somehow time goes slow whenever he is appart. It feels exactly like it did when he went back on the Cruise in October, when we proved that we couldnt bear to be without each other any longer. He didnt do the full 6 months but only lasted 3.

The fact I cant call him as his pay as you go phone would run out and I cant ring him when his at his sisters as they dont have a land line means it all feels like it did when he was on the ship.

Far far away and my heart truly aches to be with him again.

Every moment of every day he is on my thoughts and deep within my heart.

I have been coming back to the hotel at lunch time, just to sit down and spend some time alone. Yesterday as I did so I was thinking of Dusan and found a tear or two running down my cheek. Am I being sad and pathetic? Or should I relish the fact that we both are missing each other so much and cant wait to be in one anothers arms again? I pray its the latter.

Tomorrow I will talk to him again and that will be a gem to cherish. Why is that time goes by so slowly when his gone but when he is here it seems to fly at double pace? The 21st of July signifies the 6 month mark since he moved in with me back in our little home. Its been an amazing six months, we got to spend every moment together outside of work. Catching up with friends and planning our Civil Partnership which again seems almost ages ago.

So I wait patiently, once more, (I seem to have gotten out of practice of waiting) for my babycakses return and pray that it is real soon.

We have chatted via text and all I know is I am here missing him and he is there missing me. Hurry home soon babycakes. I love you and miss you so much! Xxx

Update from Zagreb

After a nearly sleepless night for both of us with the worry and stress of everything Dusan tells me he woke up feeling ill as he made his way to the bank to exchange the money for the visa and headed over to the British Embassy. He stated "He was dripping with sweat as it was almost 30 degree's at 0900 in the morning". How comes Eastern Europe gets a summer eh?

The Embassy will not make appointments so you literally have to show up in order to be seen. He took in all of the proof of our relationship and if you have ever seen the movie Green Card you have some sort of idea. Photos of us both together over the past five years, Emails, Cards, Letters etc. The file was over a foot tall.

He had to lug the whole thing in hand luggage all the way to Croatia and showed up this morning. It was too big to go through the slot at the Embassy so security had to come and take it and then they called him and said that they needed to read everything and that they interview all possible visa applicants to the UK and the earliest available interview is next Tuesday. So once more we wait. Patiently and certain that very soon our fight to be together will be over and we can start to live the rest of our lives together. In love, as much today as we ever have been. I would never have married him if I didnt love him 100%. Someone asked me at work today, how do you know that his definitely the right one. This was before the wedding. I said, because I would dive in front of a bullet to save him and him to save me. So give it a week tomorrow and hopefully babycakes Dusan is coming back for good and we will have a mega party to celebrate with all our friends and loved ones. X

Waiting once more

Having hardly slept last night we both rose early this morning ready to face the day. We left the house and started to make our way to Luton Airport from where he flew home to apply for permission to have a visa where by he might live with his partner in the UK.

After all we have been through and all of the time that we have been forced to wait for decisions it is once more out of our control. Tomorrow morning he will go and speak to the Embassy with our application to stay.

It feels so different that his away now. I miss my husband. We know not when he will be back but that we have filled out all of the paperwork, provided the evidence and paid the fee's. I pray that he is back very soon and in the mean time, travel in safety my handsome prince.

All my love

Neil x

Our Civil Partnership, July 4th 2007

Amazing to think that we began to plan today’s events even before they came into law. From a dream so many moons ago to a reality today.

The night before Dusan had a little bit too much to drink. So much so he doesn’t remember the latter part of the evening and he informs me that he had actually had a few drinks prior to by coming home from work. Bless him.

We woke in the morning as late as possible but still with time to do the extra chores still outstanding. Collect Ice, Champagne, Cucumber and drop at mums. Set up bar at their house, collect flowers and champagne and thank you gifts. Having done all of my chores I was back home to find that Marcus & David had both arrived already. Moments later Alex was at the door too. So we cracked open some Champagne and threw on some Ham, egg and chips to keep everyone fed and happy. Finally Mark & Richard arrived. So we had our best friends, best men, drivers and lunch and champagne.

I managed to eat some of the food but moments later was having second thoughts at having eaten something. Now I could actually have something to bring up. Alex said our nerves were natural and opened another bottle of Lauren Perrier.

We showered, dressed, put on our wedding outfits and had Alex help us out with our ties. Somehow I have never quite managed a Windsor knot on my tie.

Everyone pilled into the cars and a huge thank you to our designated drivers for safely getting us to and from the reception.

Everyone stopped at my parents on route to get a few photo’s of the happy groom and groom prior to the event and then we pilled back into the cars and made our way to the registry office.

The feeling of nerves, rapidly rising but still knowing deep down that this was the most right thing to do in the world and that the moment that the ceremony is over we can relax and enjoy the party with our friends. The registar, Grainee, went through what would happen and made us sign a few documents that would make everything official. Then she went in to address our friends and family and returned to bring us in to the ceremony hall.

We were both surprised at how many people were there. There was not a single seat empty in the whole place and further people were standing at the back. From family members to both friends old and new. Neil & David made it in time for the end of the ceremony and had to stand at the rear too.

The ceremony was much like any other church wedding with the whole spiel

I Neil Russell Borchard do take thee Dusan Stojnovic to be my Civil Partner, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold till death do us party.

We then had the exchanging of the rings and again it was just like any other wedding I had attended. “I give you this ring as a symbol of my love ….” Or something like that.

We then signed the official Civil Partnership Certificate and got to kiss the grooms. Then we had to pose for dozens of photos sat at the table at the front while the certificates were prepared. It felt like an age and I started to feel like Shamu the Killer Whale with the endless blinding of flashes like a million stars in the sky.

We then made our way down to the hallway and everyone followed us down the stairs. It was our first chance to say hello to everyone and thank them for coming. This took about 20 minutes and then as we exited the building we were covered in Confetti and party poppers.

From here we all made our convoy back to Mum & Dad’s who had kindly offered their home and garden as the venue for our reception. Dad flared up the BBQ with Adam’s assistance and everyone helped out.

It was an amazing day. Neither of us could describe it exactly but a feeling of magic and of love and fulfilment. We hope that all of our nearest and dearest all get the opportunity to fulfil this dream of love for it is the greatest in all the world. After all, the greatest gift you’ll ever learn is to be loved and love in return.

More Wedding Pictures

My Apologies

Dear Friends

My apologies for not having the time to update this since the wedding. I have still to write about our magical day and to thank everyone for all their best wishes.

Both Dusan and I can say that it really was an amazing day and that it really does feel different and special to be married at last.

Tomorrow Dusan will leave for Zagreb and face the final hurdle in our battle. He has to apply for permission to live with his Husband (me :-) ) and for the visa, "Leave to Remain" that will effectively give him permission to live and work here.

We have had the momentous task of proving our relationship to the home office and now we have to do the same thing with the British Embassy in Zagreb.

He could be gone for a couple of days or it could be a couple of weeks or longer. Fingers crossed and gods will he will be back as soon as possible so we can continue to enjoy our married lives together.

I shall write a full update on details of our Wedding Day and once again, a huge Thank you to all of your for your kind thoughts, gifts and to those of you that came.

Much love always

Neil & Dusan XXX

Wedding Pictures

More to follow but had to upload some quickly! Much love

Neil & Dusan

Pre Wedding Nerves

Well today is a celebration in many senses of the word. July 4th represents freedom for many but for us will always from this day forward be our Anniversary. Today is the day that Dusan and I will finally wed. It was so long ago that we started to plan this day that the law was still not passed enabling 2 men that love one another to have civil partnerships. Since then we have been waiting, waiting for it it to come into law, waiting for Dusan to come visit, waiting for him to return from the ship and finally waiting for the day to come. Here it is, finallly here.

I will upload pictures as soon as I can in the mean time I have a speech I should think about writing eh?

Amsterdam Part Two

Were not sure if it was the fact that we walked around too much on Friday and Saturday and went to a club too many or if it was actually the magic cake that wore us out so much. Amazing, it was only Banana Cake with the secret ingrediant. We wandered around, did some shopping on the gay street which we can never remember the name of so called Diagonally. Nipping over for a spot of breakfast at a Patisserie, we wandered up to "Mr B's" to check out their leather shop and to buy the compulsory Mr B's Tee Shirt that you see so many of arond the scene in London. Call it a gay version of collecting a Hard Rock Cafe Tee Shirt.

Mikey insisted that he purchased something for Alex in a very large store called C&A. It was the biggest C&A I have ever seen, with 6 floors of retail space and all the alure of a Ross Dress for Less store with Bargain Bucket after Bargain Bucket of cheap clothes. It was enough to make us feel queasy. Was it that we were alergic to C&A? Mikey said he once purchased a Tee Shirt for Alex there and told him it was from Cest u Na. Alex fell for it momentarily until the rash started to develop on his Luxury Branded label only skin. So once more Mikey bought him a tee shirt never to be worn.

Suddenly the sun was shining but we were shattered so decided we would go out later in the evening and to go back and watch some television. The Hotel had BBC1 and CNN in English. We watched for a while and before long our eyes were heavy and we dozed off. Only to awake at 1145 pm. We had slept from 0400 - Noon then 4Pm till Midnight. Opps.

Waking so late we showered, dressed and headed off for a wander around the red light district. Window after window of girl dressed in underwear underneath the dim glow of Red light strip that everyone of these windows had. Walking up the canal under a canopy of Neon and an aroma of marajuana floating out of the endless coffee shops.

Having missed dinner we stopped at Febo. A kind of fast foodery selling, burgers, fries and snacks. All fries here are served with delicious Fresh Mayonaisse and they sell burgers, chicken burgers, spring rolls etc out of the hot vending machines on the walls. Insert coin, open flap and hot snack away. Was preety impessive and so cheap.

Stopped in a Bar on Diagonally for a couple of stiff drinks. Seems you ask for a Jack Daniels and Coke and get a tripple no matter where you go.

Came back to the room around 230 and having had a fabulous time went back to sleep. Busy week ahead with work and wedding and stuff to plan so didnt want to be overly exhausted.

Four hours before Flight I am missing Dusan already. Its only been three days but his always in my heart and mind.

So it is with fond eyes we bare fairwell to Amsterdam. I'm sure we will be back soon as I just know Dusan will love it. :-)