Somehow I have still not managed to get Mum and Dad to meet Dusan. His shy and well, its difficult isnt it? So I have to conjour up some sort of sceme to get them together....Hmm tis Wednesday afterall we could go around for Chinese? We will see. I just want the hesitation over and to get on with the living and bless him, his nervous and shy.
Maybe tonight will be the day they meet?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
The Perfect Weekend
You dont have to do anything in particular to have a perfect weekend. Right now we are just enjoying one anothers company. We went to town and bought a New TV for the bedroom as an Anniversary present to each other. No need to get up now in order to watch television. Plus we stocked up on some Paint for the next room to be decorated, the Lounge. Not only is Dusan gorgeous, his good at DIY, Maintenance and decorating and has already painted the Hall which was grubby from the construction of the new porch doors.
After we had put away all of the shopping, had some dinner, we just cuddled up and talked and kissed and chilled. Doing nothing in particular, just enjoying being in one anothers arms. There is a new Peace over my world now. As we talked about the future, Dusan said he just felt happy that he had found his soul mate and that he felt sorry for anyone who hadnt as its the most amazing feeling in the world.
We know the next few months will be tough while he is unable to work but we have chores he can do and future will definitely be bright. I'm still thinking POO. That Positive Optomistic Outlook can only bring better things to life. For once I have not had January blues. I had the thought of my baby coming home and was busy most weekends at the Academy. Emily and I said last year that it was the most amazing year yet. We both feel in our blood that 2007 is going to be even better.
After we had put away all of the shopping, had some dinner, we just cuddled up and talked and kissed and chilled. Doing nothing in particular, just enjoying being in one anothers arms. There is a new Peace over my world now. As we talked about the future, Dusan said he just felt happy that he had found his soul mate and that he felt sorry for anyone who hadnt as its the most amazing feeling in the world.
We know the next few months will be tough while he is unable to work but we have chores he can do and future will definitely be bright. I'm still thinking POO. That Positive Optomistic Outlook can only bring better things to life. For once I have not had January blues. I had the thought of my baby coming home and was busy most weekends at the Academy. Emily and I said last year that it was the most amazing year yet. We both feel in our blood that 2007 is going to be even better.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The Calm after the Storm
I dont know if its physical or emotional the exhaustion I am feeling right now. All this time of wanting to be together and now that we are we are both feeling so shattered. Its really like a calm after a really bad storm. Having worked nearly non stop for the past 5 weeks on this new work project I was begining to get worn down. A few sleepless nights caused by stress and then just when you think you will get the perfect nights kip your brain goes into overdrive and you cant stop thinking all night long.
Thankfully today my boss had agreed to let me work from home. Even better that I did not have to drive to Chelmsford in the inch of white Powder we had overnight. I seem to recall we had snow last year too but prior to that it was a long time since we had a real scattering of snow.
No wonder our inflation is rising, Hotter Summers, Colder Winters and more and more energy bills. You cant win.
I managed to tie up a lot of loose ends today, and got the excercises in the bag for the training which commences next week. Finally from Monday I will be training again and not sat at a desk. I find it very mundane but tis the reason I contract and dont go full time. You get the variety of a new job, new surroudings and I am looking forward to taking off much of March.
At 6:00PM we had a light dinner and sat down to a cuddle on the sofa and to watch a DVD. Poor Dusan must be just as tired as I am. He was out cold within 20 minutes. Unlike me, he doesnt have to get up tomorrow at 630 so I have just retired. He even asked if I minded that he didnt come right up to bed straight away. He really is a sweetheart. No, his not, his my Sweetheart.
So the feeling right now is peace and love and happiness that we are together again. Roll on the weekend, I am so looking forward to my first sleep in in 12 days. Oh and have you noticed how its getting dark after 5 now? Spring will soon be in the air with any luck :-)
Thankfully today my boss had agreed to let me work from home. Even better that I did not have to drive to Chelmsford in the inch of white Powder we had overnight. I seem to recall we had snow last year too but prior to that it was a long time since we had a real scattering of snow.
No wonder our inflation is rising, Hotter Summers, Colder Winters and more and more energy bills. You cant win.
I managed to tie up a lot of loose ends today, and got the excercises in the bag for the training which commences next week. Finally from Monday I will be training again and not sat at a desk. I find it very mundane but tis the reason I contract and dont go full time. You get the variety of a new job, new surroudings and I am looking forward to taking off much of March.
At 6:00PM we had a light dinner and sat down to a cuddle on the sofa and to watch a DVD. Poor Dusan must be just as tired as I am. He was out cold within 20 minutes. Unlike me, he doesnt have to get up tomorrow at 630 so I have just retired. He even asked if I minded that he didnt come right up to bed straight away. He really is a sweetheart. No, his not, his my Sweetheart.
So the feeling right now is peace and love and happiness that we are together again. Roll on the weekend, I am so looking forward to my first sleep in in 12 days. Oh and have you noticed how its getting dark after 5 now? Spring will soon be in the air with any luck :-)
Monday, January 22, 2007
The simple things
Suddenly I feel like a "Lucky Bitch" once more. Like all the pain and sadness over the past 4 months has gone in one final "Phew" as it ended up being such a event at the airport.
Still the worst is now over and the evenings went preety much to plan. I came home from classes around 430 and didnt call ahead. I thought surprise is always the best in these cases. The back door was slightly open so I snuck in that way and he was curled up on the sofa, napping like a little cat wearing a wolly hat. His sleepy eyes turned into a beaming smile as I said softly "Hello Babycakes" and as we walked towards each other with open arms and a smile. "No more tears" he said. "I am here now". But still the tears came and I had to explain to him that over the past few months I have had to make them happy tears as a way of making it thru (Remember P.O.O.) so they are now just tears of joy and I suppose of release to finally let go of all that anguish and worry and finally hold him in my arms once more.
I cooked him his favourite dinner of Steak (I made a peppercorn sauce too) Jackets with Sour Cream and fresh Vegetables. We opened a bottle of Chilled Champagne that we sipped from the Dartington Champagne flutes Alex bought me for my 30th and then while he was unpacking some clothes ran a candlelit bath for us both. Nothing much, just a simple dinner and a nice hot bath together. With a combination of us both being exhausted, mine from college and his from Jet Lag we were tucked up in bed by 0930. Both enjoying possibly the nicest thing a couple can enjoy. Cuddling up in the spoons posistion and just hugging all night long. The warmth from each body feeling lovely after months of sleeping alone. He woke up several times in the night and even though that woke me, I feel like I have had the best nights sleep in weeks.
This morning as I woke, there is a spring in my step once more, I have a reason to go to work today that wasnt there in the same intensity last week. Now I am going to work to support both of "Us". It is no longer "I" but "We" and it is not longer a trial to get to work every day. I can get out of bed, look at him lying peacefully there and smile. Can you imagine, today is the first day that he has had a lie in since October. Working 12 hours per day, 7 days per week. His not shaved for the first time in that period also.
So home babycakes. :-)
Still the worst is now over and the evenings went preety much to plan. I came home from classes around 430 and didnt call ahead. I thought surprise is always the best in these cases. The back door was slightly open so I snuck in that way and he was curled up on the sofa, napping like a little cat wearing a wolly hat. His sleepy eyes turned into a beaming smile as I said softly "Hello Babycakes" and as we walked towards each other with open arms and a smile. "No more tears" he said. "I am here now". But still the tears came and I had to explain to him that over the past few months I have had to make them happy tears as a way of making it thru (Remember P.O.O.) so they are now just tears of joy and I suppose of release to finally let go of all that anguish and worry and finally hold him in my arms once more.
I cooked him his favourite dinner of Steak (I made a peppercorn sauce too) Jackets with Sour Cream and fresh Vegetables. We opened a bottle of Chilled Champagne that we sipped from the Dartington Champagne flutes Alex bought me for my 30th and then while he was unpacking some clothes ran a candlelit bath for us both. Nothing much, just a simple dinner and a nice hot bath together. With a combination of us both being exhausted, mine from college and his from Jet Lag we were tucked up in bed by 0930. Both enjoying possibly the nicest thing a couple can enjoy. Cuddling up in the spoons posistion and just hugging all night long. The warmth from each body feeling lovely after months of sleeping alone. He woke up several times in the night and even though that woke me, I feel like I have had the best nights sleep in weeks.
This morning as I woke, there is a spring in my step once more, I have a reason to go to work today that wasnt there in the same intensity last week. Now I am going to work to support both of "Us". It is no longer "I" but "We" and it is not longer a trial to get to work every day. I can get out of bed, look at him lying peacefully there and smile. Can you imagine, today is the first day that he has had a lie in since October. Working 12 hours per day, 7 days per week. His not shaved for the first time in that period also.
So home babycakes. :-)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Home sweet Home
Well after months of being apart for almost 4 months and over 2 years of being separated long term today he finally got back to the UK and that’s where it almost went terribly wrong. His flight was due in around 9.15 so when I had not heard from Mark & Richard who were collecting him at 10.15 or 11.15 I was getting nervous. Something had happened. I had asked my tutor if I could leave the room if I needed to make an urgent phone call, so when at 12.05 my phone vibrated I ran to the corridor. It was Dusan. They had been interviewing him at Immigration for over 3 hours but had finally given him a visa to come and stay for six months. So he is here, safe and sound and so now we start the planning of our future together. I know how hard it has been to be apart just from the one I love for far too long so now its time to be happy together.
1 Hour 45 Minutes and counting
Okay, I admit that it wasnt that bad, the four months has flown by and a Thousand Thanks to all of my friends that helped me through the hard times. A special Thank You to Gary, Joe & Emily who were there and helped keep me busy or were the shoulder to cry on when it all got a little too much.
I emailed my parents last night and just put down a few 'Truths' and told them things that I sometimes find difficult to say when I see them. I emailed it to both of them and asked for a 'read receipt' which came at 1145PM from Dad. No reply. Just a receipt. But thats how it usually works. I am sure he printed it out and took it down and they both read it over together. It didnt say anthing bad, just about Dusan and I and our love for each other and how we will be going through with this no matter what but how much their approval would mean to me and how I want them to accept him into the family. How he is so nervous about meeting them and how we need to get that 'First Meet' over with ASAP.
I emailed my parents last night and just put down a few 'Truths' and told them things that I sometimes find difficult to say when I see them. I emailed it to both of them and asked for a 'read receipt' which came at 1145PM from Dad. No reply. Just a receipt. But thats how it usually works. I am sure he printed it out and took it down and they both read it over together. It didnt say anthing bad, just about Dusan and I and our love for each other and how we will be going through with this no matter what but how much their approval would mean to me and how I want them to accept him into the family. How he is so nervous about meeting them and how we need to get that 'First Meet' over with ASAP.
So with just under 1 Hour and 45 minutes to go and him currently sat on a 747 headingin inbound I have to try and relax and go to class as normal as though today is a normal day knowing that when I come home with him in the house, life will be a totally different place. Life will be fullfilled and loving and fabulous. I know life is no fairytale and we will have our woo's with our joys but I know that the man that I have loved for four years today and have been trying to spend my life with for over Two years is finally here. So much to plan, so many things to do before things settle down to normality but in the mean time I will finally have my own dream, my very own fairytale. I know there are those that dont believe in magic and dont believe that life can be a fairytale but then again there are those that do. I once had a button given to me by the Casting Director of Walt Disney World after I had worked for them and was applying to work on Disney Cruise Line. She pressed it into my hand and said, "You will be fine Neil" as she walked away. I looked down and the small button had a Disney Emblem on one side and other, as I flipped it over it read "If you believe in magic you belong". I am the boy who's dreams came true. I applied to Disney and got in, I applied to Disney Cruise Line and got in (A very special Hello to all my Disney Friends, especially Christine in Norway, Lea in Boston, Ali, David and Claudia & Lavern (UK), and Debbie (Snax) in Orland0 and on a whole I have fulfilled the majority of lifes ambitions. Now if that doesnt make me the ultimate "Lucky Bitch" I dont know what does. Today will be just the cherry on the bun. The icing on the cake (if someone didnt leave the cake out in the rain- as Richard would say (Bristol). All I ask is that today come to light and I be allowed my ultimate dream. The love of my life and we will make our own fairytale. It may not be all laughs and joy but it will be worth every minute. My own parents will celebrate their 42nd year in marriage today. I guess I have a good foundation to look towards. So with now 1 hour and 30 minutes or so to go, i sit on tender hooks waiting for my dream and praying today I will be the "luckiest bitch" on planet earth. The boy who got his man.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Less than 12 hours to go
Well the countdown is almost over, less than 12 hours to go until his here. Sadly I have to work tomorrow but hopefully we will finish early tomorrow. I have a lot of things planned. Champagne is on chill, Steak and fresh vegetables, Potatoes, Sour Cream and his favorite ice cream in the Freezer. Candles and Roses. Ironically, tomorrow is our fourth anniversary to the day. It wasn’t planned that way, just he could only get off the ship on a Saturday and gets here Sunday. :-)
So this is the most pivotal night of my life. If all goes to plan tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. We will be celebrating not just four years together (both of our longest relationship) but the beginning of a lifetime partnership.
I always thought when I met guys that they wanted too much. They wanted me to change and I didn’t quite understand why I should have to change to fit into their way of thinking. Especially as I was the older and more wiser one. With Dusan its different. Not only does he never ask me to change or do anything to please him, I actually want to make changes to adapt to him. To make him happy I prepared to change. Prepared to do anything.
I got in this evening just after 1800 after popping in to get mail from my parents and cooking dinner. Just as I was winding down with a bottle of wine the phone rang. Unusually late. 2210 was kind of late on a Saturday night to expect a call. It was Dusan. An Email and a call all in one day. He was checked in and waiting to board the plane at the Airport. His flight leaving in a couple of hours. I so wanted to be at the airport to meet him but had no idea at the time that I would be at the Training Centre working towards my new career. It just goes to prove how good friends are worth more than anything. Not only did the leather Queens (Mark & Richard) offer to pick him up at the airport, so did Alex and Claire. Thank you to each and every one of you. I was touched by all of your offers. So all that is left for me to say is Travel Safely babycakes. Get here in once peace and the beautiful being that you are. Tomorrow is not just the first day together back together after 4 months apart. Its our anniversary and the starting point of our lives living together. I cant wait to share every special moment, every Christmas, Birthday and celebration with you. I will be proud to call you my husband. Travel safely baby. Ya Tolim Te ( I love you in Croatian)
So this is the most pivotal night of my life. If all goes to plan tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. We will be celebrating not just four years together (both of our longest relationship) but the beginning of a lifetime partnership.
I always thought when I met guys that they wanted too much. They wanted me to change and I didn’t quite understand why I should have to change to fit into their way of thinking. Especially as I was the older and more wiser one. With Dusan its different. Not only does he never ask me to change or do anything to please him, I actually want to make changes to adapt to him. To make him happy I prepared to change. Prepared to do anything.
I got in this evening just after 1800 after popping in to get mail from my parents and cooking dinner. Just as I was winding down with a bottle of wine the phone rang. Unusually late. 2210 was kind of late on a Saturday night to expect a call. It was Dusan. An Email and a call all in one day. He was checked in and waiting to board the plane at the Airport. His flight leaving in a couple of hours. I so wanted to be at the airport to meet him but had no idea at the time that I would be at the Training Centre working towards my new career. It just goes to prove how good friends are worth more than anything. Not only did the leather Queens (Mark & Richard) offer to pick him up at the airport, so did Alex and Claire. Thank you to each and every one of you. I was touched by all of your offers. So all that is left for me to say is Travel Safely babycakes. Get here in once peace and the beautiful being that you are. Tomorrow is not just the first day together back together after 4 months apart. Its our anniversary and the starting point of our lives living together. I cant wait to share every special moment, every Christmas, Birthday and celebration with you. I will be proud to call you my husband. Travel safely baby. Ya Tolim Te ( I love you in Croatian)
Friday, January 19, 2007
2 more Sleeps
2 more sleeps. Hard to believe when I think it seems so long ago that he was in Croatia and we were saying our goodbyes on the telephone and even longer ago that we were both in Zagreb in early October saying goodbye for now. Almost 4 months, a 3rd of a year has flown by and yet in the words of the song 'Time goes by so slowly'. A watched clock is a slow clock. The funny thing is that ever since his ticket has been booked my life has been busier than ever. The two new jobs are taking up every moment of my spare time time and in between I am trying to squeeze in rest and friends. I've had a chance to stop since Christmas. Everyone is telling me that I am looking really well, but in all honesty I am feeling run into the ground and getting ready for a desperate break to somewhere warm and sunfilled. Algarve maybe?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
3 days and Lunch with Gill & Caroline
I woke up and had that heavy feeling in my eyes. You know, when you just find it difficult to wake up properly. But I got dressed, had my Java and made my way to Chelmsford. Before you knew it it was already noon and time to go and meet Gill and Carloline for lunch. Just a sandwhich bar this time and a catch up over a sandwhich. But its just lovely to see friends whenever you get the chance. The sad thing is the chance isnt there as often as would be nice.
Walking back the wind was really getting up and then the power in the building was on and off. It was like living back in Florida again as the warnings were coming in of power lines down, roads closed and all sorts of chaos going on.
Made it home safe and sound and am just about to tuck up in bed counting my blessings. 3 more sleeps and his here. 3 more sleeps, 2 days training and a day more work and baby is back. Im begining to think that some of my exhaustion is not just physical but but that I am emotionally drained too.
As I sit here at almost 11:00pm wishing it was 9pm when I climed into bed. Well as im having a POO week, I can hardly let an 11:00pm bedtime get me down. Roll on sunday and its alright, Babies coming back :-) x
Walking back the wind was really getting up and then the power in the building was on and off. It was like living back in Florida again as the warnings were coming in of power lines down, roads closed and all sorts of chaos going on.
Made it home safe and sound and am just about to tuck up in bed counting my blessings. 3 more sleeps and his here. 3 more sleeps, 2 days training and a day more work and baby is back. Im begining to think that some of my exhaustion is not just physical but but that I am emotionally drained too.
As I sit here at almost 11:00pm wishing it was 9pm when I climed into bed. Well as im having a POO week, I can hardly let an 11:00pm bedtime get me down. Roll on sunday and its alright, Babies coming back :-) x
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Ugly Betty
Have you seen it yet?
I was hooked from week one and the more it goes, the more I am loving it. I have never watched more TV in all of my life. But Sky Plus is fabulous. You hit the R button to record and then the Green Button to record the entire series and voila. You have them all recorded.
So Ugly Betty, its a bit like "The Devil wears Prada" but in a series mixed with a touch of Sex in the city. Of course Ugly Betty is not that Ugly and you just know that once she changes out of the drab clothes, looses the braces and gets her hair done she will be a stunner. A stunner with a heart of Gold.
So Ugly Betty is my new televison replacement to Torchwood and should just about fill the gap until Doctor Who is back. When is that? Easter?
The week is dragging. I couldnt wake up properly this morning till about 10AM though I was at the office from 9:00. There are just never enough hours in the day. Still it does make the time go quickly.
I've almost completely made the downstairs of the house spotless ready for Dusan's arrival. I naturally want the place to be homely for when he arrives. Sorted out space in the drawers and wardrobe and its slowly getting there. No wonder I am exhausted with all this and the end of year accounts due soon.
I want to be up at 6 tomorow, so bed for me. Sweet dreams x
I was hooked from week one and the more it goes, the more I am loving it. I have never watched more TV in all of my life. But Sky Plus is fabulous. You hit the R button to record and then the Green Button to record the entire series and voila. You have them all recorded.
So Ugly Betty, its a bit like "The Devil wears Prada" but in a series mixed with a touch of Sex in the city. Of course Ugly Betty is not that Ugly and you just know that once she changes out of the drab clothes, looses the braces and gets her hair done she will be a stunner. A stunner with a heart of Gold.
So Ugly Betty is my new televison replacement to Torchwood and should just about fill the gap until Doctor Who is back. When is that? Easter?
The week is dragging. I couldnt wake up properly this morning till about 10AM though I was at the office from 9:00. There are just never enough hours in the day. Still it does make the time go quickly.
I've almost completely made the downstairs of the house spotless ready for Dusan's arrival. I naturally want the place to be homely for when he arrives. Sorted out space in the drawers and wardrobe and its slowly getting there. No wonder I am exhausted with all this and the end of year accounts due soon.
I want to be up at 6 tomorow, so bed for me. Sweet dreams x
I feel like POO today!
Morning. I really do feel like today should be a POO day. Thats Postive Optomistic Outlook. I was speaking via email to Neil Sexton, star of Gaydar Radio's breakfast show and was just talking about all the things going on, work, Dusan, stress etc and he said just remember POO. Which I did.
Yesterday I woke up at 5AM and rather than stressing about it and worrying that I have woken far to early I just relaxed, logged on to my computer and how fortuitous (as Gary would say) but David Nelson who'm is currently working on tour with the show Saturday Night Fever was online. I have not spoken to David in weeks but we were able to catch up properly via MSN and then while I was online a message alert came in from Dusan telling me he had mailed me. Its was the perfect way to start the day.
Worked my balls off at work trying to get out a mountain of paperwork in time and came home for an early night. I failed on that one, but I did manage to cook a huge Bolognaise and do some laundry so tonight will be clean out wardrobe for Dusan night.
Amazingly having a POO first thing and throughout the day paid off and I got through loads and I have realised that negativity leads to one thing, Negativity. Positivity creates energy, vibe and fabulousness and is something I have to strive for daily.
You may have noticed I'm quoting words from Neil or Gary from Gaydar Radio, but have you not noticed how if you hear something a few times it ends up in your own vocabulary? I heard Neil say "Lucky Bitches" on the radio the other day and have just given him the line "RTFM" which trainers often use.
Have a positive fabulous day and think POO. T'ra.
Yesterday I woke up at 5AM and rather than stressing about it and worrying that I have woken far to early I just relaxed, logged on to my computer and how fortuitous (as Gary would say) but David Nelson who'm is currently working on tour with the show Saturday Night Fever was online. I have not spoken to David in weeks but we were able to catch up properly via MSN and then while I was online a message alert came in from Dusan telling me he had mailed me. Its was the perfect way to start the day.
Worked my balls off at work trying to get out a mountain of paperwork in time and came home for an early night. I failed on that one, but I did manage to cook a huge Bolognaise and do some laundry so tonight will be clean out wardrobe for Dusan night.
Amazingly having a POO first thing and throughout the day paid off and I got through loads and I have realised that negativity leads to one thing, Negativity. Positivity creates energy, vibe and fabulousness and is something I have to strive for daily.
You may have noticed I'm quoting words from Neil or Gary from Gaydar Radio, but have you not noticed how if you hear something a few times it ends up in your own vocabulary? I heard Neil say "Lucky Bitches" on the radio the other day and have just given him the line "RTFM" which trainers often use.
Have a positive fabulous day and think POO. T'ra.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
7 Days, a call and excitement is kicking in
This time in a week he will be hear. I feel like my blog has gone off the chart since Dusan came back. Before then I knew in my heart of hearts how I felt and a few of my closest friends knew it too. We had discussed it over the time since he was gone. Back then, there was no choice, we just stayed in touch, we still loved each other but neither of us knoew what we could do in order to be back together.
Now with the law change its not like we have to be treated like second class citizens anymore. Infact we have the same rights as a straight person.
Ironically, neither of us noticed it at the time of booking his flight over, but January 21st is exactly 4 years since I met him in Revenge nightclub in 2003. It was, ironically, a Wednesday night. I was staying at the Hilton Metropole for 3 nights with a work contract. A text from Patsie informed me that the Dame Edna Experience was performing that night in Revenge. So after work I had a disco nap and then made my way down to the club around 11:00PM. There was a huge Tribute night on celebrating 50 Years in the business for the now sadly passed Phil Starr. Every drag queen under the sun was there that night ending with the legendary Dame Edna Experience.
But long before Edna came on to the stage I spotted this young man, barely 22, dark hair, very sexy and very very drunk. His drunken behavior attracted my attention and not used to the cheapness of the drinks in Brighton over London, I had enjoyed around 4, I went over and said Hello.
We talked a little, shared a drink and well, the rest I may tell you over a large bottle of something one day, but that was it. We never even said there was a date that we started to go out. We met on the 21st January 2003 and have been together ever since. Albeit over seas and long distance, the love we have shared has never lessened but grown. The distance is so hard to deal with. I miss his smile, his voice, his sexy body, but most of all I miss him. But the time for missing him is coming close to an end. Seven more nights sleep and I will be with him again and the next exciting part of my life begins.
How the next 7 days will drag I can only imagine. I have work Monday to Friday and classes Saturday and Sunday. If it wasnt for the Leather Queens he would have to make his own way from the Airport. Thankfully Mark and Richard Stepped in and have offered to pick him up. I am so blessed to have so many nice friends.
Another week of work commences tomorrow. I was tired after 10 days of work, let alone 12, but the adrenaline will keep me going and at least I have my partner to cook me dinner after next week.
Today I spoke with Marcus Chops. He asked when Dusan is back and I said "Sunday", he said, "Wow, that came around fast". Did it? I thought it had been one of the longest periods I have had to count away in my life.
So let the last week begin. His on his last cruise already and has just 6 more days to go. I feel its a slow tedious time from this end, I am sure its like a prison sentence to him. Still the hard part is over and in the words of Karen Carpenter "Weve only just begun"
Now with the law change its not like we have to be treated like second class citizens anymore. Infact we have the same rights as a straight person.
Ironically, neither of us noticed it at the time of booking his flight over, but January 21st is exactly 4 years since I met him in Revenge nightclub in 2003. It was, ironically, a Wednesday night. I was staying at the Hilton Metropole for 3 nights with a work contract. A text from Patsie informed me that the Dame Edna Experience was performing that night in Revenge. So after work I had a disco nap and then made my way down to the club around 11:00PM. There was a huge Tribute night on celebrating 50 Years in the business for the now sadly passed Phil Starr. Every drag queen under the sun was there that night ending with the legendary Dame Edna Experience.
But long before Edna came on to the stage I spotted this young man, barely 22, dark hair, very sexy and very very drunk. His drunken behavior attracted my attention and not used to the cheapness of the drinks in Brighton over London, I had enjoyed around 4, I went over and said Hello.
We talked a little, shared a drink and well, the rest I may tell you over a large bottle of something one day, but that was it. We never even said there was a date that we started to go out. We met on the 21st January 2003 and have been together ever since. Albeit over seas and long distance, the love we have shared has never lessened but grown. The distance is so hard to deal with. I miss his smile, his voice, his sexy body, but most of all I miss him. But the time for missing him is coming close to an end. Seven more nights sleep and I will be with him again and the next exciting part of my life begins.
How the next 7 days will drag I can only imagine. I have work Monday to Friday and classes Saturday and Sunday. If it wasnt for the Leather Queens he would have to make his own way from the Airport. Thankfully Mark and Richard Stepped in and have offered to pick him up. I am so blessed to have so many nice friends.
Another week of work commences tomorrow. I was tired after 10 days of work, let alone 12, but the adrenaline will keep me going and at least I have my partner to cook me dinner after next week.
Today I spoke with Marcus Chops. He asked when Dusan is back and I said "Sunday", he said, "Wow, that came around fast". Did it? I thought it had been one of the longest periods I have had to count away in my life.
So let the last week begin. His on his last cruise already and has just 6 more days to go. I feel its a slow tedious time from this end, I am sure its like a prison sentence to him. Still the hard part is over and in the words of Karen Carpenter "Weve only just begun"
8 More sleeps
Just 8 more sleeps and my babycakes will be back. Its been so hard for 3 long months but there is certainly a light at the end of the tunnel now. We have to celebrate Christmas and Dusan's birthday and start to plan the exciting year ahead.
You can tell you are in love when you sing songs that you wouldnt usually sing, in your head, all day every day. All I know is I love him more than I have ever loved another person and if thats not the right reason to get wed to the man I haev loved for 4 years, then what would bring me to it? I can feel it in my blood that its all going to work out and we are both going to live happily ever after.
So 8 more sleeps and then I have my dream and his name is Dusan.
You can tell you are in love when you sing songs that you wouldnt usually sing, in your head, all day every day. All I know is I love him more than I have ever loved another person and if thats not the right reason to get wed to the man I haev loved for 4 years, then what would bring me to it? I can feel it in my blood that its all going to work out and we are both going to live happily ever after.
So 8 more sleeps and then I have my dream and his name is Dusan.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
The Gherkin with Neil C
Ten days of getting up at 0630 AM starts to take its toll by day ten. I have no ide how I will feel in 2 weeks as I will have to do 12 days straight. I do like my lie ins. Try as I might I just cant seem to get to sleep before midnight ever and on the rare occasion that I do manage it I end up waking up at 4AM. I cant win can I?
As I was working at the London office I sent Neil C a text at lunch and asked if he fancied a quick drink post work. His office is just minutes from mine. So we went to the Norman Foster Gherkin Building. They have a bar called Sterling on the first 2 floors and its really quite nice. Its not cheap, but its nice. We sat on the big leather sofas for a few hours and enjoyed some white Rioja while we caught up. After the news came in about Tom it didnt seem appropriate to be out drinking anymore so I came home for a much needed rest and bliss, 12 hours asleep in bed. I love my bed.
Spent today trying to clear the house up ready for Dusan's arrival in 8 days. :-)
Oh and I bought 4 new shirts from TM Lewin in the Sale. Normally £65-£85 each they were on sale at 4 for £100. Then we got a Voucher from work to take it down to £90. Bargain. So spent today ironing my new shirts and cleaning. Roll on Sunday, 8 days to go.
As I was working at the London office I sent Neil C a text at lunch and asked if he fancied a quick drink post work. His office is just minutes from mine. So we went to the Norman Foster Gherkin Building. They have a bar called Sterling on the first 2 floors and its really quite nice. Its not cheap, but its nice. We sat on the big leather sofas for a few hours and enjoyed some white Rioja while we caught up. After the news came in about Tom it didnt seem appropriate to be out drinking anymore so I came home for a much needed rest and bliss, 12 hours asleep in bed. I love my bed.
Spent today trying to clear the house up ready for Dusan's arrival in 8 days. :-)
Oh and I bought 4 new shirts from TM Lewin in the Sale. Normally £65-£85 each they were on sale at 4 for £100. Then we got a Voucher from work to take it down to £90. Bargain. So spent today ironing my new shirts and cleaning. Roll on Sunday, 8 days to go.
RIP TOM
Sadly last night we had the news through that Tom had lost his fight and had passed away. Our deepest sympathy goes out to Wayne and Tom's family and anyone else who knew Tom in any way.
I guess you are some what prepared to loose people that are older than you. Grandparents and parents you expect to pass away before your own time comes but you don't expect it of someone younger than yourself.
I dont think I had seen Tom in a year but he was fit and as in his prime looking as he was when I met him and Wayne at the RVT sometime back in 2002. Rest in Peace Tom, Rest in Peace.
I guess you are some what prepared to loose people that are older than you. Grandparents and parents you expect to pass away before your own time comes but you don't expect it of someone younger than yourself.
I dont think I had seen Tom in a year but he was fit and as in his prime looking as he was when I met him and Wayne at the RVT sometime back in 2002. Rest in Peace Tom, Rest in Peace.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Tired, Study & Lunceons
Its almost wednesday as I write this. well just 19 minutes away. My body feels shattered and ready for bed but i am not quite sleepy enough to try.
I figure that I will watch the end of Shameless on E4 (Next weeks episode) and hit the sack.
Had a long day at work today. Met Gill for lunch in Chelmsford. Our offices are around 5 minutes apart and the first time we have met for luncheon. Gill, naturally, took us to a really fabulous bar. It was lovely. Then back to the office for more paper pushing. Well project managing, chasing people and getting things sorted and ready for the launch date.
Tomorrow I am in the London office, but will still get up at 630.
Came home by 630 and after dinner ran a nice hot bath and read my homework through. There is so much reading it takes hours and so I find the bath is a good way to multitask. Anyone who says men can not multitask has no idea what men really do while watching porn.
It was lovely to see Gill and will be lovely to meet Emily again tomorrow.
I've still not finished clearing out the office, I've still to put away all the laundry I have done, but I will get there eventually and before Dusan arrives. I will becuase I want to. I want the place to look homely by the time he arrives.
Roaming reporter VC for poo on a stick news x
I figure that I will watch the end of Shameless on E4 (Next weeks episode) and hit the sack.
Had a long day at work today. Met Gill for lunch in Chelmsford. Our offices are around 5 minutes apart and the first time we have met for luncheon. Gill, naturally, took us to a really fabulous bar. It was lovely. Then back to the office for more paper pushing. Well project managing, chasing people and getting things sorted and ready for the launch date.
Tomorrow I am in the London office, but will still get up at 630.
Came home by 630 and after dinner ran a nice hot bath and read my homework through. There is so much reading it takes hours and so I find the bath is a good way to multitask. Anyone who says men can not multitask has no idea what men really do while watching porn.
It was lovely to see Gill and will be lovely to meet Emily again tomorrow.
I've still not finished clearing out the office, I've still to put away all the laundry I have done, but I will get there eventually and before Dusan arrives. I will becuase I want to. I want the place to look homely by the time he arrives.
Roaming reporter VC for poo on a stick news x
Dusan's Birthday
Yesterday was Dusan's 27th Birthday. Another major event we have been unable to share phisically together. He did when he called on Saturday say that he would call again Monday and true to his word just after I got home from work the phone went and we had 37 minutes of chatting before the calling card expired and we were sent into silence and the cut off tone.
With only 12 days to go until his return we are both excited now. The pain of the separation is less and less as we know that the time to wait is shorter than ever. Mark & Richard (Leather Queens) have kindly offered to pick him up from the airport, as did Claire & Alex. I am so blessed with so many kind and genuine friends. How typical is it that I have to attend classes the weekend he arrives? Still at least the weekend after I will be off and we can spend quality time together.
Back to work early this morning. They have dug up my main road for resurfacing so it took me an extra 15 minutes to get out of the village yesterday and traffic was hell everywhere. 30 Miles took me 90 minutes. Worse journey I have made ever to Chelmsford.
Hopefully today I will get a chance to meet Gill for Lunch. Honey if you are around today, call me, lets do Lunch.
With only 12 days to go until his return we are both excited now. The pain of the separation is less and less as we know that the time to wait is shorter than ever. Mark & Richard (Leather Queens) have kindly offered to pick him up from the airport, as did Claire & Alex. I am so blessed with so many kind and genuine friends. How typical is it that I have to attend classes the weekend he arrives? Still at least the weekend after I will be off and we can spend quality time together.
Back to work early this morning. They have dug up my main road for resurfacing so it took me an extra 15 minutes to get out of the village yesterday and traffic was hell everywhere. 30 Miles took me 90 minutes. Worse journey I have made ever to Chelmsford.
Hopefully today I will get a chance to meet Gill for Lunch. Honey if you are around today, call me, lets do Lunch.
Monday, January 08, 2007
12 days
Today is my darling Dusan, my fiancee, my husband to be's 27th Birthday. Somehow dates like Birthdays and Christmas are all that much harder. He called on saturday and said that he woudl call today. Its amazing how you can live for a phone call or an email. I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is check for an email from my babycakes.
He was 27 today and I sent him a card and some money but I miss him so much. God bless him, spending it alone and at sea so that he can help his mum out. No wonder that I love him so much.
We spoke for a magical 37 minutes. Then there is that moment where we get cut off for a second and they tell him, You have 60 seconds remaining. We spend the last 60 seconds saying how much we love each other. And we do. Just 12 days and I will owe the world my life cos I will be the happiest man on earth. Thanks to everyone who has helped me thru the hard times and his absense and come back soon darling babycakes Dusan.
Love always
Neil xxx
He was 27 today and I sent him a card and some money but I miss him so much. God bless him, spending it alone and at sea so that he can help his mum out. No wonder that I love him so much.
We spoke for a magical 37 minutes. Then there is that moment where we get cut off for a second and they tell him, You have 60 seconds remaining. We spend the last 60 seconds saying how much we love each other. And we do. Just 12 days and I will owe the world my life cos I will be the happiest man on earth. Thanks to everyone who has helped me thru the hard times and his absense and come back soon darling babycakes Dusan.
Love always
Neil xxx
Sunday, January 07, 2007
First Day Training
Started training for my new role today. So far we have just been sat around in the class room but I think it could turn out to be something that I will thoroughly enjoy and could be the foundations of a new career.
Got home after a big shop at Tesco and started to take down the tree. May I point out mine was the first house to have decorations up in November and came down on the 12th night. I do love my tree. I have said one year I will leave it up and on 12th night change it to a Valentine Tree, then an Easter Tree , Summer Solstice Tree, Halloween Tree and can enjoy it year round. I have dismantled it which takes forever and bagged up all the decorations but the tree's box is in the garage and it was pouring with rain and I decided it was best not get a cardboard box wet. So will have to box that up and retire it to the loft for another year this evening. Its down at least and in pieces.
I was clearing up the last of the mess when the phone went and my darling Dusan was on the phone. Today is his home port day (Saturdays) and officially mail day. His Christmas card had still not arrived and Monday is his 27th Birthday so his Birthday card was due Saturday too. He said he had received neither! :-( We talked for 15 minutes. With less than 2 weeks till his back from the ship I think we are both getting excited now. Its been 3 months since I saw him last on the 12th so you can imagine how much we are missing each other. This would be officially the half way mark if he were staying without leave. April seems so far far away.
He will call again tomorrow for his birthday and so I have that to look forward to.
Today is my 5th day in a row of 10 of early starts. I will miss my lie in on the weekends but its worth it in the long run. When I think Dusan has had to be up at 530AM every morning for 3 months. Bless him. He says his looking forward to not shaving for a single day. On the ship they have to shave twice daily. This week I had 2 days off with it being New Years, other wise it would have been a run of 12 days up early. Now tell me, why can I never sleep through from 11:00 - 7:00 ? I always wake up and start to clock watch. I was going to have a glass of wine last night to help but then fell asleep on the sofa and then couldn't sleep later. I think I have messed my body clock up somewhat. I am sure that I will sleep better this week. Exhaustion will kick in.
I'm off to get ready for my second days training. Hope your having a great New Year.
With love
Neil
Got home after a big shop at Tesco and started to take down the tree. May I point out mine was the first house to have decorations up in November and came down on the 12th night. I do love my tree. I have said one year I will leave it up and on 12th night change it to a Valentine Tree, then an Easter Tree , Summer Solstice Tree, Halloween Tree and can enjoy it year round. I have dismantled it which takes forever and bagged up all the decorations but the tree's box is in the garage and it was pouring with rain and I decided it was best not get a cardboard box wet. So will have to box that up and retire it to the loft for another year this evening. Its down at least and in pieces.
I was clearing up the last of the mess when the phone went and my darling Dusan was on the phone. Today is his home port day (Saturdays) and officially mail day. His Christmas card had still not arrived and Monday is his 27th Birthday so his Birthday card was due Saturday too. He said he had received neither! :-( We talked for 15 minutes. With less than 2 weeks till his back from the ship I think we are both getting excited now. Its been 3 months since I saw him last on the 12th so you can imagine how much we are missing each other. This would be officially the half way mark if he were staying without leave. April seems so far far away.
He will call again tomorrow for his birthday and so I have that to look forward to.
Today is my 5th day in a row of 10 of early starts. I will miss my lie in on the weekends but its worth it in the long run. When I think Dusan has had to be up at 530AM every morning for 3 months. Bless him. He says his looking forward to not shaving for a single day. On the ship they have to shave twice daily. This week I had 2 days off with it being New Years, other wise it would have been a run of 12 days up early. Now tell me, why can I never sleep through from 11:00 - 7:00 ? I always wake up and start to clock watch. I was going to have a glass of wine last night to help but then fell asleep on the sofa and then couldn't sleep later. I think I have messed my body clock up somewhat. I am sure that I will sleep better this week. Exhaustion will kick in.
I'm off to get ready for my second days training. Hope your having a great New Year.
With love
Neil
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Kylie @ Wembley
When the tickets for Kylie went on sale last year I think they sold out in a matter of minutes. Who would have thought that the girl who was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago would be back on tour in such a short time. I logged on that morning and spent an hour trying to get tickets, but it was no use. They were sold out, the phone lines and internet sites completely blocked. So when at Christmas my dear friend Sue said she was giving me a ticket and did I have a friend that would like to buy one, I felt a real "Lucky Bitch".
Marcus came with me and I arrived and met up with him at just after 730. Taking a promonade around the concession area to look at all the gorgeous boys, you couldnt help but bump into people you knew. I met Nathan who'm I had first met in San Francisco in 2002 and Richard who's a Trolly Dolly. Marcus met some of his friends too and we finally found our way to our seats where Sue and her friends were waiting.
The show was fabulous, she sang songs old and new, a fabulous rendition of I should be so lucky (you dont want to know the rude lyrics marcus was singing), You do? It went something like "I should be so lucky, tie me up and **** me" Oh how rude. But we did laugh. There were some cute Welsh boys in the row in front of us putting on public shows of affection which I think caught Sue and her friends eyes. She said, "I cant believe how many gay boys there are here Neil". "Funny", I answered, "We couldn't believe how many straight people there are". Obviously they don't know that Kylie & Madonna are gay icons.
There was an interval mid way to let our lass rest and no one cared a bit. The show ran from 810pm to 1110pm. Ending up on a fab rendition of the duet "Especially for you" then Kylie starting us all off on a Mexican Wave before waving us off. Fab night and another to add to the list of things that really do make us Lucky Bitches. I really do have a good feeling about 2007.
Marcus came with me and I arrived and met up with him at just after 730. Taking a promonade around the concession area to look at all the gorgeous boys, you couldnt help but bump into people you knew. I met Nathan who'm I had first met in San Francisco in 2002 and Richard who's a Trolly Dolly. Marcus met some of his friends too and we finally found our way to our seats where Sue and her friends were waiting.
The show was fabulous, she sang songs old and new, a fabulous rendition of I should be so lucky (you dont want to know the rude lyrics marcus was singing), You do? It went something like "I should be so lucky, tie me up and **** me" Oh how rude. But we did laugh. There were some cute Welsh boys in the row in front of us putting on public shows of affection which I think caught Sue and her friends eyes. She said, "I cant believe how many gay boys there are here Neil". "Funny", I answered, "We couldn't believe how many straight people there are". Obviously they don't know that Kylie & Madonna are gay icons.
There was an interval mid way to let our lass rest and no one cared a bit. The show ran from 810pm to 1110pm. Ending up on a fab rendition of the duet "Especially for you" then Kylie starting us all off on a Mexican Wave before waving us off. Fab night and another to add to the list of things that really do make us Lucky Bitches. I really do have a good feeling about 2007.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
David N and another Call
Twas a long day at work today and I was at the London office. Worked a little later till 6PM then made my way into Soho to meet David. Bumped into Essex Dan and German Stefan outside Comptons then inside met up with David.
A few minutes later while I was ordering at the bar my phone went and it was once again my babycakes darling Dusan. We talked for a short while but I had to cut him short. The line from a ship to a mobile phone is not always the greatest of signals and the time delay was making it hard to hear. Hopefully we will catch up properly when I am at home over the weekend.
Friday is here and usually I would be relishing a lie in at the weekend but I have another 8 days before I can enjoy one of those. No rest for the wicked eh? So good to hear from my baby, great to see David and say goodbye properly, face to face. He is off to Taiwan and Korea with work saturday and I wont get to see him again for 4 months. Four months is such a long time , its only been 3 since I last saw Dusan and how the time moves by so slowly.
17 Days to go and in the mean time, tomorrow I have Kylie :-)
A few minutes later while I was ordering at the bar my phone went and it was once again my babycakes darling Dusan. We talked for a short while but I had to cut him short. The line from a ship to a mobile phone is not always the greatest of signals and the time delay was making it hard to hear. Hopefully we will catch up properly when I am at home over the weekend.
Friday is here and usually I would be relishing a lie in at the weekend but I have another 8 days before I can enjoy one of those. No rest for the wicked eh? So good to hear from my baby, great to see David and say goodbye properly, face to face. He is off to Taiwan and Korea with work saturday and I wont get to see him again for 4 months. Four months is such a long time , its only been 3 since I last saw Dusan and how the time moves by so slowly.
17 Days to go and in the mean time, tomorrow I have Kylie :-)
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
New Years Day Party at DTPM
New Years may be celebrated by most on December 31st of each year but my group of friends it has now been celebrated officially on January 1st in true style at our faveourite place on the planet. As Lee once said "If God were to walk on the earth today, he would go to DTPM". Lee Freeman, owner of the club, liked it so much that he gave me permission to use it on Tee Shirts provided I gave him one.
So at 8PM I made my way over to Marcus Chop's flat which, how fortuitus, is just five minutes walk from DTPM. We all had a drink and a catch up and met with Neil S, Woody, Steve and Mikey and Carlos. Carlos was particularly anxious. I have never seen him so keen to get going. Usually we are waiting at Marcus's for Carlos to arrive. Amazingly he was there before me. We got to the club at 11:00 as they no longer open at 10:00PM and had to queue for about half an hour to get in. Queue? I dont think I have queue'd at DTPM in five years. But as my ticket was on the Internet Collection Queue we had no choice and I saw my lovely friend who works at DTPM on the door, Kayka. From there it was upstairs, exchange Eticket for a real ticket, then the longest line for coat check I have ever seen at the club. All the way past coat check, down the stairs and into the lower lobby. Still having checked in our coat it was time to make our entrance. The club is an incredible 3 stories underground. You go down 2 stories to get to the Upper Level and there we always stop to say hi to the lovely Kerri on membership desk, then down a further flight and straight to the toilet to say hi to Marcus. This is really the club that we call home so naturally we know half the staff.
We all grabbed a drink and then made our way to the dance floor. The bar was packed, the toilets were packed, the second room was packed and the main dance floor was so crowded you couldnt so much dance as move with the wave as people moved into a mass of bodies that caused for Philip to once say that it was like a "Help Yourself Service Buffet". David N and I now refer to a HYSB as something else entirely but thats a different story.
Still exhausted from getting to bed so late on New Years Eve I didnt expect that I would last much beyond 2AM. When Woody, Carl, Marcus and Steve said they were going back to Marcus's for a chill out. I found Mikey shortly after and we made our way back to his too. It was the most fabulous night with fabulous friends. Every time I go to DTPM I think there is no way that it can be as much fun as it was last time but every time it is or then some. It was so packed but somehow just on special occasions it adds to it. There was even a PA by Amanda Wilson from the Freemasons (Sings let love rain down on me) who sang 3 songs live on the main floor. Got a free DTPM Keychain as this years New Year Gift too.
Spent all day yesterday either in bed ( I got to sleep at 930AM) and slept till 3PM so to say I couldnt sleep very well that evening was an understatement. Finally got to bed at gone 4AM. Had hoped for an early one tonight but its almost 10PM and I am still awake. Cest la vie.
Happy New Year one and all, in the words of an old Chinese proverb, "May all your dreams come true but one" (After all if all your dreams come true, what will you have to dream of?.
17 Days to go!!
So at 8PM I made my way over to Marcus Chop's flat which, how fortuitus, is just five minutes walk from DTPM. We all had a drink and a catch up and met with Neil S, Woody, Steve and Mikey and Carlos. Carlos was particularly anxious. I have never seen him so keen to get going. Usually we are waiting at Marcus's for Carlos to arrive. Amazingly he was there before me. We got to the club at 11:00 as they no longer open at 10:00PM and had to queue for about half an hour to get in. Queue? I dont think I have queue'd at DTPM in five years. But as my ticket was on the Internet Collection Queue we had no choice and I saw my lovely friend who works at DTPM on the door, Kayka. From there it was upstairs, exchange Eticket for a real ticket, then the longest line for coat check I have ever seen at the club. All the way past coat check, down the stairs and into the lower lobby. Still having checked in our coat it was time to make our entrance. The club is an incredible 3 stories underground. You go down 2 stories to get to the Upper Level and there we always stop to say hi to the lovely Kerri on membership desk, then down a further flight and straight to the toilet to say hi to Marcus. This is really the club that we call home so naturally we know half the staff.
We all grabbed a drink and then made our way to the dance floor. The bar was packed, the toilets were packed, the second room was packed and the main dance floor was so crowded you couldnt so much dance as move with the wave as people moved into a mass of bodies that caused for Philip to once say that it was like a "Help Yourself Service Buffet". David N and I now refer to a HYSB as something else entirely but thats a different story.
Still exhausted from getting to bed so late on New Years Eve I didnt expect that I would last much beyond 2AM. When Woody, Carl, Marcus and Steve said they were going back to Marcus's for a chill out. I found Mikey shortly after and we made our way back to his too. It was the most fabulous night with fabulous friends. Every time I go to DTPM I think there is no way that it can be as much fun as it was last time but every time it is or then some. It was so packed but somehow just on special occasions it adds to it. There was even a PA by Amanda Wilson from the Freemasons (Sings let love rain down on me) who sang 3 songs live on the main floor. Got a free DTPM Keychain as this years New Year Gift too.
Spent all day yesterday either in bed ( I got to sleep at 930AM) and slept till 3PM so to say I couldnt sleep very well that evening was an understatement. Finally got to bed at gone 4AM. Had hoped for an early one tonight but its almost 10PM and I am still awake. Cest la vie.
Happy New Year one and all, in the words of an old Chinese proverb, "May all your dreams come true but one" (After all if all your dreams come true, what will you have to dream of?.
17 Days to go!!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Dusan's New Years Call
I had an Email from my babycakes last night and again this morning. With the five hours time difference it seems that I always miss him online. But true to his word he calls on a regular basis and had said that he would try and call me today. Knowing that I have to leave to head to Marcus's around 8PM I was starting to get ready, Iron my shirt etc and run the bath when the phone went. I made my usual mad dash to get to it before the answer machine kicked in. It was of course Dusan. We discussed each others new years, talked about how sad it was to spend it appart and how little time we have to wait till we see each other again. Its been the hardest Christmas and New Years ever without him to share it with. Prior to booking his flight over the wait seemed endless and infinite but at least with a countdown in place we can look forward with optomism for a possitive and happy 2007.
As we approached our farewells, as always, we were both close to tears. I cant help it. When you miss someone so so much that you cant seem to get them out of your head or heart for a single moment of the day.
I have moved all of his pictures from downstairs to the bedroom. He is now the last face I see every night and the first one every morning. :-) I must sound like a slushy puppy dog. All I know is that the wait will be worth it and somethings are worth fighting for, more than anything else in the world. Happy New Year Dusan, keep safe and come home soon. All my love Neil x
As we approached our farewells, as always, we were both close to tears. I cant help it. When you miss someone so so much that you cant seem to get them out of your head or heart for a single moment of the day.
I have moved all of his pictures from downstairs to the bedroom. He is now the last face I see every night and the first one every morning. :-) I must sound like a slushy puppy dog. All I know is that the wait will be worth it and somethings are worth fighting for, more than anything else in the world. Happy New Year Dusan, keep safe and come home soon. All my love Neil x
ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL
ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL
A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on The Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell". The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Sharon Tracy Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?
Please don't forward this to anyone living in Essex - oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it anyway.
A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on The Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell". The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Sharon Tracy Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?
Please don't forward this to anyone living in Essex - oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it anyway.
Happy New Year
It doesnt seem to matter which year it is, the New Year seems to make everyone feel that much more vunerable and brings out depression in everyone. I guess everyone likes the opportunity for new start.
I have to confess that spending both Christmas and New Years without Dusan was no easy feat, you miss your loved one more and more on special occasions and events. Tonight I am going to DTPM with Mikey, Neil, Woody, Steve & Carlos. Normally I would really love it but being there without Dusan will mean that something is missing about the event. Still this should be the last year that I go without him. Not long and my baby will be back here (Lucky Bitches). I feel like 2006 and I was forever waiting for days to pass and weeks and months just so that I could be with him again, if it wasnt his trip here it was mine to Croatia and then for him to go on the ship and now for him to return again. Still the countdown is well and truly under way with less than 3 weeks to go and we are finally in the right month of the right year of his return and what will hopefully be the best year of my life. The year of Dusan and Neil. It will be totally amazing if it can come anywhere near topping 2006. So let me wish you all a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year and may all your dreams come true. x
I have to confess that spending both Christmas and New Years without Dusan was no easy feat, you miss your loved one more and more on special occasions and events. Tonight I am going to DTPM with Mikey, Neil, Woody, Steve & Carlos. Normally I would really love it but being there without Dusan will mean that something is missing about the event. Still this should be the last year that I go without him. Not long and my baby will be back here (Lucky Bitches). I feel like 2006 and I was forever waiting for days to pass and weeks and months just so that I could be with him again, if it wasnt his trip here it was mine to Croatia and then for him to go on the ship and now for him to return again. Still the countdown is well and truly under way with less than 3 weeks to go and we are finally in the right month of the right year of his return and what will hopefully be the best year of my life. The year of Dusan and Neil. It will be totally amazing if it can come anywhere near topping 2006. So let me wish you all a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year and may all your dreams come true. x
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